What to do when you feel like nobody is listening

The age-old problem. Nobody is paying attention to what I'm saying...

I can definitely say with ultimate authority that this is the absolute worst time in history to try to be heard. There is just way too much noise.

Even the noise is noise. Everybody's an authority, Everybody's an expert, Everybody is "so real" that they're fake.

If you look at the analysis I did on my Facebook page, it's no secret that even when you're saying the truest most honest message possible, people eventually tune you out if you are too frequent with them.

That's just the way things have become. Everybody has their own television station and they're all watching a different channel.

This podcast addresses what to do when you're one of us, all the people that feel like nobody is listening.

  1. Understand that now is the time to hone your craft - The best time to prepare for war is in times of peace. Now is a time of peace for you. So don't waste time worrying about the war not being here yet. Quietly re-tool your chambers and train in your sites to make sure you are prepared for the day things pop off. Practice every move in your sequence. Train in martial arts and mortal combat. Study the tactics of the great warlords that came before you. That's what you need to be doing. Focusing on creating as much as possible and using the next day to build on the previous day.
  2. Don't worry about the response - They call it a canary in the coalmine for a reason. It's because that's the bird that can detect danger way before anyone else. That's me. That could be you too. If you have a provocative message or vision, you're going to see it long before everyone else. Don't worry too much if people aren't paying attention. Whether or not they do or don't, you shouldn't be attaching your self worth to a click or a like.
  3. Pay attention to who's responding to you - If nobody's responding to you at all and you feel totally alone, yield back to point #1. You can't waste time worrying about when your day is going to come. Your day is today and I mean that in the realist sense. If people are responding to, take note of who they are. Like I talk about in the Big Time Oil Man video, it doesn't matter how many likes, comments, or views you receive. You need to focus on who's responding to WHAT you say. Would you rather have 100 likes from 100 broke motherfuckers or 1 like from a millionaire? Look at it like that and respond to the people who are going to benefit you the most, not the people who are not.
  4. Streamline your systems and remove inefficiencies - This is similar to point #1 but it's more specific to honing your craft. This is more like refining your process. The more you create the more you are going to develop processes to speed things up. I for example have many contractors do different tasks for me so that I can focus on what's important which is creating.
  5. Create a system - This is similar to point 4, but also similar to the process. A process is a system you use to create art. An Artistic System is one your use to do everything required of your art to sustain an enterprise. From production to promotion to marketing to sales. Automatically schedule blog posts, instagram posts, facebook advertising, whatever. Whatever you can do to allow technology to minimize your workload is key.
  6. Talk to a professional - Society wants to make you believe it's not okay to talk to a professional psychologist or counselor about your problems. Your first world problems. Everybody has problems and in my opinion, everyone should go talk to a counselor even when you don't have serious trauma going on. These professionals help you navigate and provide honest feedback that can help get you out of your own head. A lot of times family and friends to not give us honest feedback or good advice because they care about us and don't want to hurt our feelings. This is understandable and it's not bad to talk to them as well, but a professional is trained to really drill down your thought process and give you tips on how to improve in a way that is going to serve you based on the science of things.
  7. Read books about people you admire or subjects that interest you in an effort to improve your internal world - Reading beneficial information, not celebrity blogs about who's tit popped out of their designer skirt over the weekend help open your mind. Anytime I'm down and out or feeling trapped, I seek out books on the topic. I literally goto Amazon, type in the problem and see what comes back. For example, everyone thinks they are crazy at times, when I did (recently) I went and got a book called The Psychopath Inside. Thought I haven't finished it at the time of publishing this the first chapters were interesting to me and at the very least took my mind off my own state and focused it on what someone else experienced. When you read, your mind makes connections and when you're making these connections it helps to make you realize and reflect on your current state. Many times if not all the times after reading books it really helped me understand that the reason I was in a funk was because I needed a new perspective. For example if you feel powerless or like nobody’s listening, go get a book like the 48 Laws of Power that give you tactics that you can apply to your life on how to become powerful. If you're having problems communicating with your loved ones, go buy a book on how to communicate with your spouse or significant other like the 5 love languages. This type of literature gives you that new perspective so that you can change your strategy as it relates to interacting with the outside world. Maybe it's that people are listening you just don't see it. 
  8. Understand that people are always listening, they too may just be stuck in their head - I post content and do social experiments all the time to see what people react to. The biggest thing I've learned is that people are in fact listening. So much so that I will run into people, friends or whatever that may not have commented or liked a video for example (you should not be on social media remember), but when they saw me in real life they mentioned it. They might not even mention it but they might accidentally slip up and recite something I said in a podcast because they listened to it and whatever I said has now become part of their belief set. That's the craziest thing. There are lots of people listening at times when you think they aren't. People are by nature trolls, including me. I creep people just like you do but just like them I may not necessarily reach out because I don't want to or I don't know how.
  9. Go inside yourself - This speaks to the above listed points. When somebody blows me off, I don't take it personal, I just focus on myself more and developing my craft more. That makes you attractive and when you are attractive people come to you. The Harsh Reality is that sometimes you may graduate to a new level and leave a lot of the old people behind. You can still be nice to them but if they aren't listening to you or responding to who you are, what you believe and what you want to do, then it's probably time to go on. People always need 3rd parties to "validate" the people they give attention to but you don't need that attention in order to better yourself or know your worth. If I spew the same message for an entire year and nobody listens and then I go on TV to promote Social Media Rehab or whatever, then, all of a sudden, people are listening because the tv said so. Nothing about me changed, but to them now things are different, now you are worthy listening to.
  10. Make people come to you - I have done lots of social experiments on the dating apps with this. What I figured out is that the more somebody tries to get you to comply with their behavior, the less they are going to tolerate yours. For example, a simple and proven method I used is when we agree to meet up whether it's in real life or on a dating app, I give the girl my number. If she messages me then I know she's serious. If she doesn't then, I know she's trying to get me to comply, you contact me first because I don't text first. Basically, her exhibiting this type of behavior displays that she think she is worth more than you. There have even been studies done on this shit that talk about females having unrealistic expectations and overestimating their value in the sexual marketplace and that example is a perfect example. If you give her your number that was you putting the ball in her court. Since the ball is there, why would you run back over there to get it? Basically her not texting me is the equivalent to me throwing her the ball to her and her running the opposite direction and scoring on her own goal. See how stupid that sounds? Giving her your number doesn't overreach your authority or make her feel uncomfortable because it lets her decide if she wants you in her life or not. There are some exceptions to the rule but not very often. Same goes for anything else in business. If I am facilitating a need for you, I am not going to chase you down to give you a bottle of water. If you are thirsty you will come to the water boy, which would be me in this case. It's better to be by yourself with no prospects than in a living hell being someone else's slave. Always remember that. When you're by yourself working on your craft and honing your unique skills, people come to you. Always. That is an immutable law.
  11. Don't get sucked into the downward spiral - When we feel alone we tend to want to numb this pain. Like I talk about in my key concepts, this is you sitting in suffer city. Suffer City is the wild west like place you are as you work towards bettering yourself and things are going to constantly hurt until you take action towards mastery. You have two choices you can make, either choose Discipline or regret. When you are disciplined you are lifting weights or riding your fixed gear bike to get stronger. The strength lifts you out of the dust bowl haze in suffer city towards a more inhabitable city. Drugs, alcohol and self doubt will throw you into the barrio of suffer city on the Regret block where nothing good happens. It's okay to go out and have a good time every now and again to take your mind off things, but when it becomes a lifestyle serving an addiction, that's when it becomes a problem. Don't let yourself get there. Work.towards.mastery.
  12. Don't post on social media - Everyone knows how I feel about social media. It is detrimental to your life unless you are using it to generate taxable income you can prove on a spreadsheet. When you post on social media for personal purposes it creates an unnatural sense of loss or gain not experienced in nature. When someone doesn't respond to your post, you associate that stimulus with pain. Because the average social media users spends over 1 hour a day on these platforms, it's like they are standing in a campfire expecting not to get burned. People do listen when you post on these platforms, but they are not always going to tell you they are doing so, like I explain in some of the above listed points. The bottom line is that you thinking about what's going on in these platforms subjects you to that negative feedback loop that you don't need to see. You don't need to concern yourself with what's going on there. Concern yourself with what's going on in your real life so that you can move forward. When you do this, people start to pay attention.