This started out as a long blog post, which I may elaborate on later. For the sake of the here and now, I am just going to write out the points so you can be aware of this phenomena.
So, here we go, why people cheat on their significant other.
- Something is missing, duh - I talk about it all the time in my podcast. There is a void in the marketplace that someone is trying to fill. People have a lot of voids and try to fill these voids. If you do not know how to effectively use your time you might log on to social media to get a dopamine hit. If you feel sad and do not know how to channel that emotion you might turn to alcohol. Or maybe you don't feel like you're receiving a reward in your life so you turn to nicotine to provide you with that reward. The same thing goes for cheating. People cheat because in their mind they feel something is missing. When there is a void, people will try to fill it.
- They crave excitement - Some people like the thrill of doing things that are dangerous. I can't say that I am one of those people. While I have found myself in some dangerous situations, like driving my camper through Mexico, I wasn't looking for danger when I embarked on that journey. I can't even say I was craving excitement; it was just something I wanted to do. There are people that do crave excitement and danger though and some of them cheat. These are people that enjoy the thrill of being able to do something that potentially could get them in trouble but doesn't. When they receive the reward of not getting busted, they feel gratified. It's just another form of adrenaline chasing only sexualized.
- They met someone that sparked their imagination - I have to say women are probably guiltier of this than men because they have a gland in their mind called the fantasy center. Of course, this is a gland that I made up, but for the sake of entertainment let's talk about it. Men see vision of things that can happen. Women see fantasies of things that are not possible. So when someone comes into their sphere which sparks this fantasy center, they truly believe that the impossible is now possible. This is great if you're a manipulative person, because you know that women believe in unicorns and true love (lol, just kidding, I do believe true love exists. So basically many times a man will present a women with a vision or display of their lifestyle. Women then take this and run with it in their own mind based on what it means to them and their fantasy, not necessarily the reality. To a lesser degree this can happen with men to. For example the ones that are metrosexual or too sensitive or get a warm and fuzzy feeling when a Taylor Swift song comes on the radio. For whatever reason, they have a partial female chromosome and also believe in some of these concepts that women do, which may lead them to be swayed by a woman's flawed logic as it relates to love. Anyways, I could elaborate on this more but basically what I'm saying is that people meet people meet people they have never met before and their mind changes. Their rules change and they start to see something that could potentially be more fulfilling than their existing situation.
- Someone is giving them attention - This is the same as filling the void. If someone is not getting attention from their significant other in any way, they naturally gravitate towards people that give them attention. Sometimes this could just be a friendly interaction. In the case of a man interacting with a woman it almost always has a sexual motive. While a woman may believe that he cares about her emotions and psychological needs, he only cares about them to the extent that it leads to him getting laid. Women revert to point 3 when he starts to interact with her and think that it may mean a deeper connection may be developing. While this may be true, the bottom line is that whoever is cheating or about to cheat is getting attention from someone because they are not receiving it at home.
- Someone recognizes something deep about you that nobody else has - We all have a need to be understood by at least one other person on the planet. Somebody we can be totally open with and have no filter. Real artists are exceptionally good at opening up this part of people's personalities, which is why they are so attractive to the opposite sex. They can see. The crazy part thing is though is that most people, even the person you are with, will never see that part of you. It's not that you won't let them, it's that you lay it down in front of them and they can't see it because they are blind to you. They are blind to your gifts, your offerings, your soul and your spirit. Maybe they're not on the same conscious level or maybe that have too much going on in your mind to allow them to be still so that they can see. Whatever the case if someone recognizes something about us that we feel internally, it sets off a spark, which sometimes leads to an action.
- We are not sexually gratified - Sex is not everything, but it is a big thing. If your partner is not fulfilling you in the bedroom, you may feel compelled to "cheat" because you need to have your needs met. I've been with women that I didn't fulfill and I've been with women that didn't fulfill me. When you don't feel filled up, you go in search of that gasoline. Now, I prefer to just end a relationship or change the terms of the relationship if someone is not fulfilling me sexually. Maybe we just become friends instead of lovers, etc. Some people will not do this though. Some people stay in their relationship and get their sex elsewhere. Some partners are okay with them straying from the nest, but some are not. When someone is not, they call it cheating.
- To spite their significant other - I think this is one of the worst kinds of "cheating”. When someone will just go fuck around because they are pissed off with their significant other. I've never been involved with anyone like that, but I do know that women will especially do some sly shit if they feel upset with you. It's in man's nature to be polygamous but women have a heightened ability to be sly, probably due to the fantasy center gland. They will do stuff that is clearly not cool and then refer all complaints to the fantasy center in the event of a meltdown.
- They feel they deserve better and have found that in you - Again, the fantasy center at play. People naturally don't want to work, this is why you see so few masters worthy of praise. Greatness does not exist in nature and because people are not trying to become great, if they see someone great, they believe they deserve the attention and care that a great person brings to every process in their life. You see cheating happen a lot with the instagram model types that are constantly chasing clout, sleeping with artists, trying to put themselves in the fame mix because they feel that's what they deserve. This process is not sustainable though, because they have no unique kills beyond their physical appearance. Beauty is a disposable commodity. If a great person interacts with them, yes they may provide a temporary sexual outlet for them, but they are not going to be slept and kept, because they are not unique.
- The comparison game - This plays to point #8. People compare what they have now with what else is out there. They have already put themselves in the mind frame of searching for something more. When they find that more, they reference it against what they currently have and do a cost benefit analysis on leaving the old situation and entering a new one or staying in the current one and keeping it a secret.
- The relationship has soured - People stay in situations for a variety of reasons. It is not uncommon for a relationship to expire or go sour and when it does it opens both individuals up to potential threats. Instead of leaving the relationship, people hold on to the situation hoping it will change or get better. Unless significant change or reinvigoration of the relationship happens for both individuals the potential for partners to stray exists.
The cliffnotes is that people cheat because there is a void in the relationship, whatever your relationship status may be. That's really all it is. The above listed points provide a more granular view of the behavior but all the points essentially address the same issue, the void.
If you have a void, determine what it is and if you are going to stay in the situation.