Why Donald Trump Won

You are going to meet a grand total of zero foreigners that wanted Trump to win.

The news headline in Mexico read

“Trump wins on hate and racism”

In the United States a tabloid like headline of that nature would not be taken seriously, but that’s besides the point.

I have to say though that I am genuinely shocked that Hillary did not win. Not because I am a supporter but because she had such massive financial and establishment backing it was almost inconceivable that she wouldn’t.

Not unlike a pop star with mediocre music being kingmade quickly and easily because of massive corporate and label backing.

Any mediocre product can be fanaticized, Rockstared and sold to you with enough money. Enter the ficus tree.

Only Hillary’s problem is she has no identity and she’s not real. She will kiss your ass, but you can just see it in her eyes that she knows whatever the fuck she tells you is never going to happen.

It’s like she’s some sorcerer that only comes out during a full moon to address the scribes before she retreats to her cobblestone hermit spire to cook up some bullshit potion.

Trump on the other hand grabs pussy and that’s just fucking funny.

He gives zero fucks and doesn’t need for you to approve. People resonate with his authenticity and that’s why he won.

Enough people approve of this mentality that he got elected... and that my friends is where the money is made. In the niche.

Being America’s asshole. That’s his niche.

I mean, we’re already a country full of assholes, I can’t imagine why we wouldn’t want to have the biggest one running our country.

I resonate with that.

It can be hard though, because everyone insists that you must pick a side, and I do pick a side. I didn’t vote because I went on vacation and honestly that was more fucking important, but had I voted, I would have voted for Trump. Not that it really matters in Texas, where the Republican candidate always wins. I would have voted for him strictly for the entertainment value of it. Hillary is providing no value to me. At least I can laugh when Trump says funny shit.

That makes me feel good.

When I feel good I feel more motivated to contribute to society and create taxable income that I can then use to buy superior alcohol, women and pharmaceutical grade drugs for cheaper in Mexico.

So those of you who have an opinion, those of you who are still upset:

Ask yourself:

Does the election really even matter when Kylie Jenner has 78 million instagram followers?

Probably not.

Enter the ficus tree.